In reality, I guess I should be happy that I got the project taken away from me because it is less work for me to do, but it’s just not happening at this moment in time. I have been diligently working hard and steady on a new project that I was asked to help with. I was pretty much involved from the ground level, and have found joy in overcoming the challenges that it presented to me. It has become my “baby” at work and I have (surprisingly) enjoyed every aspect of it. I was even set to go to training for the upgrade to this application. I would have one week in New York and one week in Texas. I was tremendously looking forward to New York. I had never been there before, but my primary anticipation was for the fact that my hunny was going to take a week off from his job and go with me. He was born there, and while I was in training during the day, he planned to visit his Grandma and other family that he hasn’t been able to see in years. In the evenings we were going to go to a couple baseball games and even get to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Not to mention seeing the sites like the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Central Park and all the other fun places to go. I will admit…I made the mistake of getting too excited about my first big trip with just my hunny and I.
I’m sure you all can anticipate the big ole “BUT” that is on it’s way. Now mind you, this was all set for the very beginning of next month. On my way out of the office for the day last Wednesday, I poked my head into my manager’s office to find out if there were any new updates on the plans, and she says “OH! I need to talk to you about that tomorrow.” She then proceeded to give me a brief synopsis of the fact that she has decided to give the whole project and training schedule to a person who recently joined our group. She assured me that she would tell me more about it tomorrow, but that was it. My heart sank as I knew I had to go home and tell my hunny that the trip was off, plus, I was losing my baby. It’s like being forewarned about a kidnapping that you have no power to stop. All the blood, sweat and tears that I had invested meant nothing. It was being taken away and that was that.
Oh and to add insult to injury, it is now nearly the end of my Monday and she has YET to talk to me further about it. I guess that little “By the way” on Wednesday was enough in her book. I know…what else needs to be said. How about the answers to my questions: Why? Did I do something wrong? Was my work not good enough? Why does someone else get to fly with the fruits of my labor? Why does he get the fun of learning new aspects of something he doesn’t yet appreciate? Why does he get to travel? Knowing my manager, I will never find out the answers to those questions. I am currently stuck in a slum that I desperately need to get out of. Ever since she became our manager, things in our department have gone down hill BIG time. The morale is the lowest I have ever work in at ANY job, including Blockbuster Video. She took a team who operated like a family and tore us apart to where we are just people who work in the same area. She has no faith in us and doesn’t trust us one bit, which, if we had done something to warrant that, I could understand, but we haven’t. We constantly hear her bad talking us, and not trying to hide the fact that she. Why would anyone want to continue working here? Why do we? I know that personally, I am invested in the company. I have worked here for over ten years now, and it is like home to me. It is truly sad, though, that one person can change the whole attitude of every person who reports to her. She has been our manager for over 2 years now and it just gradually gets worse and worse. I am afraid I am going to have to dust off the ole resume and spiffy it up a bit, then force myself to look for a new job. It’s truly sad…coming to work now and looking for a new job both have the same level of enthusiasm from me…nada! Oh well, time to pony up, be a responsible adult and figure out what is best for me.
Sorry this post is pretty gloomy, but don’t fear, my blog will not spiral downward like the morale at my job. I will pull myself up out of this pity mire and get a smile on before you know it. Thanks for reading my venting, though!
